Mom and I had a date yesterday. She is turning 80 on September 20th, and has to show up in person to renew her license. The nearest DPS office is in Marble Falls, an hour away. (For those who aren't familiar with the isolation of the ranch and small town Blanco, the nearest WalMart is a minimum 45 minute drive in any direction. I like to say I live an hour from the nearest WalMart, but those extra 15 minutes include getting in my car, getting out of my car, opening the gates, getting in the car, getting out of the car, closing the gate, getting in the car and driving to the road.)
So the plan was to drive to Marble Falls, have lunch, go to DPS and then go to Bee Caves to shop at PetSmart and HEB Grocery, then loop around home. It was a good plan.
Alas. My demons are not in favor of good plans going smoothly. DPS in Marble Falls closes from 12-1 for lunch and 1-3 for driving tests because there is only one guy who works there. So we got there after lunch. They were closed. Change of plans. We drove to Bee Caves (half hour--after giving up on waiting for the signal to change for 15 minutes, turning right and going around a block instead) to shop at PetSmart. I had a list on my i-Phone that I didn't check. Got the kitten food, Iams Hairball for the kennel kitties & dental doggie treats for Moon. Forgot the carrier.
We decided to skip HEB so chicken would not be sitting in the car and drove back to DPS. After Mom got her license business taken care of (a comedy for another life), we went to WalMart. It was while Mom was looking for her list that I realized that I hadn't checked my list and didn't get the carrier and she realized she didn't have her wallet anymore. (Luckily, it was sitting on the seat of the van.)
Kitten 3PO and I have a flight to Seattle on Tuesday. Incorporating the smallest dimensions of both flights into the configuration of the carrier left me with 10 x 13 x 7.5 inch dimensions. None of the carriers at WalMart fit those dimensions. The 7.5 inch height was the tricky one. There was an 8" carrier, but I practiced collapsing it a bit in simulation of tucking it under the seat, and I didn't like the squished kitty results.
We checked out at the self-check because, after all, I am a professional. Ha. That self-check register was informed of the general purpose of the universe (my universe, anyway) to instruct me in humility. 'Cuz I need so much more. The first error message said: "Unexpected item in the bagging area."
I said, "Yeah, it's a bag!"
The attendant assured Mom that she talked to the machines all the time, too, in the same tone of voice.
I cannot even remember how many error messages popped up, but I am sure it was all they had to offer, and the lady with the magic card hovered over my shoulder. At no time did I admit that I now check groceries for a living--well, not so much a living, but again: a story for another day.
We finally got Mom all checked out, and we immediately passed the sunglass stand. I have been looking for sunglasses since I lost my faves (the ones bought on the Florida On Safari roadtrip with my BFF) and the kitties broke my back up pair. I was tired of putting the lens back in. When I found a pair of unobnoxious-not-too-fufu sunglasses, I went back to pay for them. Big mistake. The left hand corner of the screen was not accepting messages at the time. You know, like the "No cash back" button. I finally had to accept cash back. Would $20 do? Nope. Same area as "No cash back." I had to get $40 cash back. Okay, I thought, this will be my in-flight money.
I drove Mom home, brought her groceries in, and left my non-perishables in the van for when I returned from my trip to PetSmart to get a carrier. Moon and I walked home, I got my car and drove back to Mom's with profuse apologies to my beloved Moon dog as I dropped her off and headed to San Antonio. Mom fretted about why we didn't just go back to Bee Caves together for the company. I said, "At least I get to listen to my book now."
"Well," she said, "why didn't you listen to it before?"
"Because I wasn't in my car."
"There is that."
It takes a Blanconian to understand the scope of driving to Marble Falls then Bee Caves then back to Marble Falls then to Blanco then to San Antonio and back. To put it in perspective for the rest of you: a credit card would be denied as infeasible at some point early on in the trip. (Been there, done that, on a shorter Hill Country trip.)
I made it to PetSmart. The carriers behind the cat section were all hard-sided, appropriate for shipping but not for carry-on. I thought that was it, and was checking for the nearest PetCo, when I saw "Travel" in the dog section. Of course. One would only travel with a dog, not a cat. After a thorough search through the designer carriers, I found again that the closest height was an inch off. I stood there waiting for the magic carrier to appear. It didn't.
An associate finally approached and asked if she could help.
I said, "I need to fit a carrier under a seven and a half inch airline seat," (by this time she was nodding sagely) "and the shortest you have is eight and a half inches."
She continued nodding, quirking one lip upward in con-solidarity, consolation, con-something and said, "Yeah. That's an airline thing. You have to buy it from them or order one on-line."
"On-line. With overnight shipping. A hundred dollar carrier."
I sighed, thanked her and wandered over to the small mammal section of the store because I have had success before finding kitten harnesses and such which were designed for ferrets. Bingo! There were two ferret carriers. A large one which was 8.5" high and a small one which was 6.5" high. I thought about that small one for a while, visualizing the kitten and how much space he would have. Okay. I wanted the medium. Checking the shelf tags, I found that they carried no such carrier.
I left.
In the despondent drive to the highway, I decided that I might as well check the other stores in town since I was there. I started with the WalMart at 1604. The trick in shopping Pets in WalMart is finding the dang Pet Section. They are never in the same place. But I found it after circumnavigating the store (and you thought all WalMart shoppers had one syllable vocabularies--honestly, my feeling about shopping at WalMart are, well, you know, a story for another day).
While I was there looking at all the 8 inch and higher carriers, I found a 9 1/5 inch carrier much like the red "dress carrier" I now use (matches my car and all). One was open, out of the box, so I pushed on it, and it flexed. Wire! Bend it! And for $40 less than at PetSmart. My forty bucks would cover this one.
Except, when I got to the check stand to pay, there was no $40 in my pocket. Luckily, I still had Mom's credit card in my pocket that I had gotten to pay for gas, so I could buy the carrier.
On the drive home, I started thinking, what if it's fiberglass and not wire? Oh well, at least it was cheaper. Both were made in China. Can't fool me. If I destroy this one, I can use duct tape. I have some nice Bengal print Duck Tape. Or maybe, just maybe, I have time to look for another one.
The good news is that it was wire. I was able to put an angle in the sides and bring the top down so it will fit under the seat. And it's a pretty blue, one of my favorite colors. It will work.
I won't lie and say that there weren't times when I cried to God asking if just one thing, one little thing could be simple. I get this endless string of mishaps. Always. Always. My mom says I have a little black cloud that follows me around making things go wrong. I call them my little demons. Little because they drive me bonkers but don't push me to suicide. Nah. Takes the big demons for that. The ones that tell me I'm a worthless piece of crap. I was married to one of them. Ha.
But you know what?
Penny and the Booman are looking at me from in front of the computer screen saying, "What Mom?"
No matter what the demons throw at me, no matter how much crap gets in the way, I will always find the humor in it and make you laugh. Well, at least I'm laughing.
And laughter, I think, will save us. (Compassion and fairness, too of course, and a whole shitload of other things, but laughter helps.)
Friday, September 5, 2014
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Another Cat Show Adventure
I can't go to a cat show without a bit of adventure. Went to Albuquerque without too much incident (except for Super Pooper having ingested a disagreeable treat and demonstrating its digestive properties in Adriana's ring). Sharron and I thought the adventure struck when we ran out of gas in the rain in Amarillo on the way home, but OnStar made that too easy. We had fresh Starbuck's (coffee being higher on my priority list than gas) and a book to listen to, we laughed, we looked things up on Sharron's Zoom, we took this opportunity to get to know my "new" Equinox (like finding the hazard light button which ended up being front and center on the control panel), so we had fun for the first 45 minutes waiting for free gas to be delivered. Then it wasn't so much fun, but still, it hardly qualifies as adventure when a young guy in a red sports car brings you free gas an hour after the first "Oh, shit."
After dropping Sharron off at her car in Mineral Wells, I had let Leo out of his carrier to use the litterbox, and he has a good kitty for the first two hours. Then we ran into another rain storm. Hotty (still in the larger kennel with litterbox) and Leo began crying loudly as the rain increased. Just as it was getting really intense between Marble Falls and Round Mountain, Leo decided he needed to visit me in the front seat. Or maybe the dash right in front of my face. Not good conditions for driving. I can't see through cats.
So I pulled into the Shell station at Round Mountain to shelter under the pump awning while putting Leo back in his carrier. I didn't want to get out of the car with him in my arms for fear he'd go ballistic and scramble onto the road. So I was clever. I got out and slipped into the back seat by his carrier. It was a great plan. Slip back there, wiggle my fingers at him in the Come-Get-Lovin gesture, put him away and continue slogging home through the rain.
Leo didn't respond to my finger wiggles. Or my coaxing voice. Nope. Leo crawled back onto the dash, locking the doors on the way up. When it was clear that I was going to have to get back in the front seat to get him, I opened the door. Well, not so much. It was locked. I unlocked it. Again, not so much. The child lock was on.
Leo had locked me in the back seat. He sat on the dash blinking at me as I expressed my opinion of this situation.
Now, for a young, nimble, thinner person, this might not be so adventuresome. No biggy, right? Just crawl between the front seats back to the front. Problem solved in a few seconds.
But I am fifty-three years old, I had been driving all day so my body was pretty much stuck in that position without serious coaxing, and the space between the two front seats is smaller than me.
I considered my options. 1. Take a nap and wait for someone to come along and open the doors for me. (But what if I really had to pee before that happened? Also, I wanted to be home and in my comfy bed.) 2. Call On-Star again if I could reach the button. ("Hello, this is the idiot who ran out of gas in Amarillo, and now I am stuck in the back seat because my cat locked me in." 3. Contort my way back to the front seat.
Being an active problem solver, I chose option 3.
Now I could be writing this from the back seat, having failed, but I'm not, so I was obviously successful, but let me just say that I'm glad there is no video. At least I hope there's no video. Do gas stations have security cameras at the pumps?
I figured I could get put my knee on the cushioned compartment between the seats, slide it forward while propelling the rest of me above the seat backs and bring my other leg forward to step onto the passenger seat and plop my butt in the drivers seat, gracefully tucking my legs back under the steering wheel. I visualized this happening. It was like a ballet. I'm not sure whose body I was visualizing doing this, but it wasn't mine.
I got my knee on the cushion. It didn't slide. There was no sliding. No way. I attempted to lift it and bring it forward, but my back and the roof of the car got in the way of lifting. I could barely lift it an eighth of an inch, and my jeans kept sticking to the vinyl. Finally, after creeping that knee forward a centimeter at a time, I was ready to bring my other leg forward. Well, there was no room to bring my other leg forward. I told it to come on forward. It refused. I could see what was coming if I continued to insist that my leg move forward: I would be stuck, ass up, between the two seats, and the paramedics would have to be called to rescue me. As much as I enjoy being rescued by paramedics after doing stupid things, I didn't want to be in this particular position when I was discovered by the people who would have to call the paramedics.
I grabbed the head rests and heaved my butt past the seats. Okay. So now I was kneeling on one knee between the seats with my butt in front and my right leg still stretched out behind me. Well, just tuck it, bring it forward, step on the passenger's seat and be done, right? Easy for you to say. I tried. Again, that is someone else's body that can manage that maneuver. I decided to just tilt my body sideways and fall into the passenger seat. I scooted all the stuff from the seat to the floor and did it. Amazingly enough, this worked. There was no "just" about it, but a lot of heaving and straining and grunting instead.
So there I was, butt in the passenger seat, shoulders against the door, legs twisted, feet still in the back. Not a position for a comfortable snooze. I had to stay there for several minutes, however, as I caught my breath. Leo was now cowering on the corner of the dash, squished up against the window as far as he could get from me, still blinking as I thanked him for getting me in this position.
It really would have been easy from here to just twist around so my legs were in all that leg room space if that space weren't occupied by all the stuff that had been on the seat. There was still leg room on the driver's side, so I aimed my legs for that. Then I inch-wormed my butt and the rest of my body over the hump and into the seat.
Piece of cake.
I scruffed Leo, opened the car doors, and put him in his carrier, thinking how easy it would have been to do that in the first place. "Well," I told him, "at least now I have enough adrenaline to make it home."
After dropping Sharron off at her car in Mineral Wells, I had let Leo out of his carrier to use the litterbox, and he has a good kitty for the first two hours. Then we ran into another rain storm. Hotty (still in the larger kennel with litterbox) and Leo began crying loudly as the rain increased. Just as it was getting really intense between Marble Falls and Round Mountain, Leo decided he needed to visit me in the front seat. Or maybe the dash right in front of my face. Not good conditions for driving. I can't see through cats.
So I pulled into the Shell station at Round Mountain to shelter under the pump awning while putting Leo back in his carrier. I didn't want to get out of the car with him in my arms for fear he'd go ballistic and scramble onto the road. So I was clever. I got out and slipped into the back seat by his carrier. It was a great plan. Slip back there, wiggle my fingers at him in the Come-Get-Lovin gesture, put him away and continue slogging home through the rain.
Leo didn't respond to my finger wiggles. Or my coaxing voice. Nope. Leo crawled back onto the dash, locking the doors on the way up. When it was clear that I was going to have to get back in the front seat to get him, I opened the door. Well, not so much. It was locked. I unlocked it. Again, not so much. The child lock was on.
Leo had locked me in the back seat. He sat on the dash blinking at me as I expressed my opinion of this situation.
Now, for a young, nimble, thinner person, this might not be so adventuresome. No biggy, right? Just crawl between the front seats back to the front. Problem solved in a few seconds.
But I am fifty-three years old, I had been driving all day so my body was pretty much stuck in that position without serious coaxing, and the space between the two front seats is smaller than me.
I considered my options. 1. Take a nap and wait for someone to come along and open the doors for me. (But what if I really had to pee before that happened? Also, I wanted to be home and in my comfy bed.) 2. Call On-Star again if I could reach the button. ("Hello, this is the idiot who ran out of gas in Amarillo, and now I am stuck in the back seat because my cat locked me in." 3. Contort my way back to the front seat.
Being an active problem solver, I chose option 3.
Now I could be writing this from the back seat, having failed, but I'm not, so I was obviously successful, but let me just say that I'm glad there is no video. At least I hope there's no video. Do gas stations have security cameras at the pumps?
I figured I could get put my knee on the cushioned compartment between the seats, slide it forward while propelling the rest of me above the seat backs and bring my other leg forward to step onto the passenger seat and plop my butt in the drivers seat, gracefully tucking my legs back under the steering wheel. I visualized this happening. It was like a ballet. I'm not sure whose body I was visualizing doing this, but it wasn't mine.
I got my knee on the cushion. It didn't slide. There was no sliding. No way. I attempted to lift it and bring it forward, but my back and the roof of the car got in the way of lifting. I could barely lift it an eighth of an inch, and my jeans kept sticking to the vinyl. Finally, after creeping that knee forward a centimeter at a time, I was ready to bring my other leg forward. Well, there was no room to bring my other leg forward. I told it to come on forward. It refused. I could see what was coming if I continued to insist that my leg move forward: I would be stuck, ass up, between the two seats, and the paramedics would have to be called to rescue me. As much as I enjoy being rescued by paramedics after doing stupid things, I didn't want to be in this particular position when I was discovered by the people who would have to call the paramedics.
I grabbed the head rests and heaved my butt past the seats. Okay. So now I was kneeling on one knee between the seats with my butt in front and my right leg still stretched out behind me. Well, just tuck it, bring it forward, step on the passenger's seat and be done, right? Easy for you to say. I tried. Again, that is someone else's body that can manage that maneuver. I decided to just tilt my body sideways and fall into the passenger seat. I scooted all the stuff from the seat to the floor and did it. Amazingly enough, this worked. There was no "just" about it, but a lot of heaving and straining and grunting instead.
So there I was, butt in the passenger seat, shoulders against the door, legs twisted, feet still in the back. Not a position for a comfortable snooze. I had to stay there for several minutes, however, as I caught my breath. Leo was now cowering on the corner of the dash, squished up against the window as far as he could get from me, still blinking as I thanked him for getting me in this position.
It really would have been easy from here to just twist around so my legs were in all that leg room space if that space weren't occupied by all the stuff that had been on the seat. There was still leg room on the driver's side, so I aimed my legs for that. Then I inch-wormed my butt and the rest of my body over the hump and into the seat.
Piece of cake.
I scruffed Leo, opened the car doors, and put him in his carrier, thinking how easy it would have been to do that in the first place. "Well," I told him, "at least now I have enough adrenaline to make it home."
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Water Park
I guess since this blog is supposed to be about "life on a cat ranch," it's about time I mentioned something about the cats and the ranch again. As soon as I decided that was the case, the cats obliged by reminding me that life with them is never boring.
So here's a typical summer morning on my cat ranch:
The alarm goes off at six in the morning even though the sun isn't even peeking over the horizon yet. This is the way I see the alarm: it's my warning that it's almost time to get up, so I'd better start seeking consciousness ASAP or maybe nine minutes after I hit the snooze button. I think I can sleep for those nine minutes, but I have to pee. (Have you ever noticed that people in romance novels never have to pee in the morning? They never have morning breath, either. My life is not a romance novel.) So, instead of suffering, I will semi-sleepwalk to the bathroom and then crawl back into bed for the rest of that snooze.
When Moon, my border collie, is sleeping in the room, she has other ideas. She stands over me on the bed and licks my cheek. So I will either argue uselessly with her, "Come on, Moon, just let me have nine minutes," or I will get up and let her out. Some mornings, I'm awake enough to pee AND let the dog out before I go back to bed.
By the time I crawl back into bed, I have earned another snooze. After all, I didn't get my nine minutes. And the sun still isn't up.
But the Booman is.
"Merowff," he whispers into my ear, purring and kneading my pillow as he positions himself to lick my nose. Believe it or not, I can ignore the Booman, even knowing what is coming. Nose kisses escalate to total facial exfoliation. If I pull the sheets over my head, he pulls them back with those handy claws. "Merowff," he repeats.
Penny the Actual Queen of the Universe will be curled on her royal bed of pillows above my head on the bed (sometimes in the winter, she still sleeps curled in the crook of my arm like she did as a kitten) sleeping through all this. She won't stir until she's sure I'm up to stay. She never tries to wake me up. She waits for her entourage to accomplish that task.
If I ignore the Booman long enough, he will sniff my shoulder in preparation to bite. (This is a Boo bite: he opens his mouth, puts his teeth against my skin and lightly scrapes--it's more an annoyance than a bite. After ten years of being squirted for it, he has finally managed to train me to move before he bites so I don't have to get upset with him.) By now, the kittens are racing around the room and over the bed. There is really no reason to expect those nine minutes to happen, so I will get up and feed the cats, thanking God for all of my blessings as I go.
The other morning, I found that I had forgotten to take the cats' breakfast out of the freezer the night before, so I plugged the sink, tossed the baggy of raw food in and started the water. Boo was still pestering me. He likes cereal for breakfast, yummy carbs, the kitty equivalent of Cap'n Crunch, no health food for him like the kittens and show kitties get. He wants to go out in the morning as I feed the porch cats their scoop of Hill Country Fare kibble. Penny will follow, usually not because she wants to eat that crap, but because she just wants a little free time outside.
Boo was extra insistent to get outside right now on this morning, threatening to bite my ankles as I stood waiting for the sink to fill. So, I left the water running and went to the laundry room/ kitty lock door. Penny and Boo beat me there, stretching up to the doorknob and meowing in kitty equivalence of "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, hurry Mom!"
I got a scoop of kibble and carried it outside to the breakfast table (on the morning shade side of the house). I used to just poke myself out the door and pour the food into the bowl on the porch floor, but since Baba Wawa has come to live with us, I have had to put the bowl in the middle of the table because the lamb loves cat food. So I toddled around the house in my jammies (the nearest house/road/neighbor is a quarter mile away). I could toddle around naked if I wanted to. (Don't worry--I never want to; jammies are my favorite clothes, and I like to stay in them as long as possible.)
Baba came out from under the porch and bleated at me to let me know she was hungry, too. So I filled my blue feeding bucket with two scoops of regular alfalfa pellets, one scoop of sweet feed and a sprinkling of cat kibble and carried it to her by the southern porch steps. Ten horses saw me and came running. They had been in the pasture around my house for two days and had discovered the lamb's food the night before. So I carried Baba's black rubber feed bowl up on the porch and called her to come up the ramp on the other side of the house.
The horses were watching me from the east side of the house. I do not want them to learn about the porch ramp, so I went back to the laundry room to get the half full bag of alfalfa pellets and carried it down to them, spreading it out in a line in the grass long enough to prevent too much bickering.
Finally, I made it back into the house from my quick dash outside. I was greeted by a spreading pool and the joyful music of trickling water.
Oops.
Running water in a kitchen sink is no big deal: there are two basins; the overflow goes down the other sink. Unless the other sink is also plugged and full of dishes. The plan had been to dart outside quickly. Instead, I dilly-dallied long enough to turn my house into a water park.
Did I say "trickling?" Two rivers flowed in opposite directions from the sink to the ends of the counters where waterfalls cascaded over the edges. A trio of Bengal kittens sat the base of one waterfall, eyes wide in wonder, batting the falling water, their tails swishing through the water on the floor like windshield wipers in a flood. This river flowed into Lake Livingroom where the tide had swept cat toys to the shore. Chou Chou sat on the fireplace hearth, a sweet limestone cliff rising over the lake to give her an ideal vantage point from which to hook sodden catnip toys with one claw so that she could toss them to the other two kittens who waded in shallow edges of the lake, playing kitty water polo. When the waterfalls ceased flowing, the kittens begain their morning 70 foot sprints with the added bonus of Slip 'N' Slide.
The water park was not in business for long, but its debut was memorable. I have seen the kittens at the sink several times since then, plotting a way to recreate it.
So here's a typical summer morning on my cat ranch:
The alarm goes off at six in the morning even though the sun isn't even peeking over the horizon yet. This is the way I see the alarm: it's my warning that it's almost time to get up, so I'd better start seeking consciousness ASAP or maybe nine minutes after I hit the snooze button. I think I can sleep for those nine minutes, but I have to pee. (Have you ever noticed that people in romance novels never have to pee in the morning? They never have morning breath, either. My life is not a romance novel.) So, instead of suffering, I will semi-sleepwalk to the bathroom and then crawl back into bed for the rest of that snooze.
When Moon, my border collie, is sleeping in the room, she has other ideas. She stands over me on the bed and licks my cheek. So I will either argue uselessly with her, "Come on, Moon, just let me have nine minutes," or I will get up and let her out. Some mornings, I'm awake enough to pee AND let the dog out before I go back to bed.
By the time I crawl back into bed, I have earned another snooze. After all, I didn't get my nine minutes. And the sun still isn't up.
But the Booman is.
"Merowff," he whispers into my ear, purring and kneading my pillow as he positions himself to lick my nose. Believe it or not, I can ignore the Booman, even knowing what is coming. Nose kisses escalate to total facial exfoliation. If I pull the sheets over my head, he pulls them back with those handy claws. "Merowff," he repeats.
Penny the Actual Queen of the Universe will be curled on her royal bed of pillows above my head on the bed (sometimes in the winter, she still sleeps curled in the crook of my arm like she did as a kitten) sleeping through all this. She won't stir until she's sure I'm up to stay. She never tries to wake me up. She waits for her entourage to accomplish that task.
If I ignore the Booman long enough, he will sniff my shoulder in preparation to bite. (This is a Boo bite: he opens his mouth, puts his teeth against my skin and lightly scrapes--it's more an annoyance than a bite. After ten years of being squirted for it, he has finally managed to train me to move before he bites so I don't have to get upset with him.) By now, the kittens are racing around the room and over the bed. There is really no reason to expect those nine minutes to happen, so I will get up and feed the cats, thanking God for all of my blessings as I go.
The other morning, I found that I had forgotten to take the cats' breakfast out of the freezer the night before, so I plugged the sink, tossed the baggy of raw food in and started the water. Boo was still pestering me. He likes cereal for breakfast, yummy carbs, the kitty equivalent of Cap'n Crunch, no health food for him like the kittens and show kitties get. He wants to go out in the morning as I feed the porch cats their scoop of Hill Country Fare kibble. Penny will follow, usually not because she wants to eat that crap, but because she just wants a little free time outside.
Boo was extra insistent to get outside right now on this morning, threatening to bite my ankles as I stood waiting for the sink to fill. So, I left the water running and went to the laundry room/ kitty lock door. Penny and Boo beat me there, stretching up to the doorknob and meowing in kitty equivalence of "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, hurry Mom!"
I got a scoop of kibble and carried it outside to the breakfast table (on the morning shade side of the house). I used to just poke myself out the door and pour the food into the bowl on the porch floor, but since Baba Wawa has come to live with us, I have had to put the bowl in the middle of the table because the lamb loves cat food. So I toddled around the house in my jammies (the nearest house/road/neighbor is a quarter mile away). I could toddle around naked if I wanted to. (Don't worry--I never want to; jammies are my favorite clothes, and I like to stay in them as long as possible.)
Baba came out from under the porch and bleated at me to let me know she was hungry, too. So I filled my blue feeding bucket with two scoops of regular alfalfa pellets, one scoop of sweet feed and a sprinkling of cat kibble and carried it to her by the southern porch steps. Ten horses saw me and came running. They had been in the pasture around my house for two days and had discovered the lamb's food the night before. So I carried Baba's black rubber feed bowl up on the porch and called her to come up the ramp on the other side of the house.
The horses were watching me from the east side of the house. I do not want them to learn about the porch ramp, so I went back to the laundry room to get the half full bag of alfalfa pellets and carried it down to them, spreading it out in a line in the grass long enough to prevent too much bickering.
Finally, I made it back into the house from my quick dash outside. I was greeted by a spreading pool and the joyful music of trickling water.
Oops.
Running water in a kitchen sink is no big deal: there are two basins; the overflow goes down the other sink. Unless the other sink is also plugged and full of dishes. The plan had been to dart outside quickly. Instead, I dilly-dallied long enough to turn my house into a water park.
Did I say "trickling?" Two rivers flowed in opposite directions from the sink to the ends of the counters where waterfalls cascaded over the edges. A trio of Bengal kittens sat the base of one waterfall, eyes wide in wonder, batting the falling water, their tails swishing through the water on the floor like windshield wipers in a flood. This river flowed into Lake Livingroom where the tide had swept cat toys to the shore. Chou Chou sat on the fireplace hearth, a sweet limestone cliff rising over the lake to give her an ideal vantage point from which to hook sodden catnip toys with one claw so that she could toss them to the other two kittens who waded in shallow edges of the lake, playing kitty water polo. When the waterfalls ceased flowing, the kittens begain their morning 70 foot sprints with the added bonus of Slip 'N' Slide.
The water park was not in business for long, but its debut was memorable. I have seen the kittens at the sink several times since then, plotting a way to recreate it.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
About that Inhaling....
I've been thinking about running for the Senate. No. Really. Stop laughing. It's not a new thought. While I was in high school, I started campaigning for President. Yes, of the United States of America. People used to ask me if I wanted to be the first woman President, and I would answer, "Nope, the youngest." At the time, I was hoping we would have had a female President before 1996, which was when I had to be elected to beat JFK in the youngest department.
As you can see, I missed that deadline.
These days, I don't want to be President. Damned good thing, eh? Have to keep my dreams somewhat within the stratosphere even if they never will be totally down to earth.
But the problem with running for political office is that I'm too damned honest. Yes, I inhaled. A lot. Many things that were inhalable. But not since 1989. So that's two strikes right there. Honesty and a past.
The thing about a past is that some people can never forgive. That past will always be there, and they will always judge you for what happened in the 1980's. I read recently about an uproar over a Christian person in some political office who actually employed an ex-prostitute. Oh, the Religious had their panties in a twit over that. But to me, it seemed that he was doing the most Christian thing. Jesus didn't hang out with the Religious, after all. So, this political person was not condemned for his past, but his employee's past was apparently communicable.
So don't stand too close to me.
Back in the Nineties, (why weren't our Nineties "Gay"? Oh, sorry. Birdwalking) when I heard about all the problems in public education (and that's another tangent for another day), I said to myself, "Self, if you're not part of the solution..."
No, really. It happened just like that. I became a teacher to help right a wrong. Whose wrong? It didn't matter. I believe so very strongly in a free public education, and I believed that our children deserved the best. SO I became the best teacher I could and an advocate for my students who lived in poverty.
Ah. Now you get it, eh? We have a big problem with our government. Not only that, but it's a real problem and not just a fictitious problem created by politicians. In fact, it's a real problem created by politicians. Politicians are the problem. And, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Now, I could vote and consider my job done, but I'd still only see politicians getting elected.
A politician is a person who makes political office their career. It's a great career move if you can make it. The salary is way up there and the benefits are awesome. One turn in in our congress, and you're set for life.
The problem with having only politicians in political office is that everything becomes a career move. We saw that clearly in the last Texas legislative session. A government made up of politicians is selfish. A government made up of politicians caters to the big bucks and the most publicity so they can stay in office and make big bucks, too.
I have come up with a very simple solution to the problem: Political office should be a public service, not a high paying career. A Senator shouldn't make more than a school teacher, fire fighter or police officer. THEIR salaries and retirements ought to be on the line. Think about the beauty of this. If political offices were filled with public servants instead of politicians, then they would attract people who care about the public they serve. They would be dedicated to solving our problems and making sure our country is running smoothly.
In order for this to happen, someone has to take the first step. So I thought I'd run for Senate and introduce the bill. What would I do with all that extra salary? Donate it back to people who need it.
As you can see, I missed that deadline.
These days, I don't want to be President. Damned good thing, eh? Have to keep my dreams somewhat within the stratosphere even if they never will be totally down to earth.
But the problem with running for political office is that I'm too damned honest. Yes, I inhaled. A lot. Many things that were inhalable. But not since 1989. So that's two strikes right there. Honesty and a past.
The thing about a past is that some people can never forgive. That past will always be there, and they will always judge you for what happened in the 1980's. I read recently about an uproar over a Christian person in some political office who actually employed an ex-prostitute. Oh, the Religious had their panties in a twit over that. But to me, it seemed that he was doing the most Christian thing. Jesus didn't hang out with the Religious, after all. So, this political person was not condemned for his past, but his employee's past was apparently communicable.
So don't stand too close to me.
Back in the Nineties, (why weren't our Nineties "Gay"? Oh, sorry. Birdwalking) when I heard about all the problems in public education (and that's another tangent for another day), I said to myself, "Self, if you're not part of the solution..."
No, really. It happened just like that. I became a teacher to help right a wrong. Whose wrong? It didn't matter. I believe so very strongly in a free public education, and I believed that our children deserved the best. SO I became the best teacher I could and an advocate for my students who lived in poverty.
Ah. Now you get it, eh? We have a big problem with our government. Not only that, but it's a real problem and not just a fictitious problem created by politicians. In fact, it's a real problem created by politicians. Politicians are the problem. And, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Now, I could vote and consider my job done, but I'd still only see politicians getting elected.
A politician is a person who makes political office their career. It's a great career move if you can make it. The salary is way up there and the benefits are awesome. One turn in in our congress, and you're set for life.
The problem with having only politicians in political office is that everything becomes a career move. We saw that clearly in the last Texas legislative session. A government made up of politicians is selfish. A government made up of politicians caters to the big bucks and the most publicity so they can stay in office and make big bucks, too.
I have come up with a very simple solution to the problem: Political office should be a public service, not a high paying career. A Senator shouldn't make more than a school teacher, fire fighter or police officer. THEIR salaries and retirements ought to be on the line. Think about the beauty of this. If political offices were filled with public servants instead of politicians, then they would attract people who care about the public they serve. They would be dedicated to solving our problems and making sure our country is running smoothly.
In order for this to happen, someone has to take the first step. So I thought I'd run for Senate and introduce the bill. What would I do with all that extra salary? Donate it back to people who need it.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
I'm Baaaack
Sometime ago, I announced my intention to blog once a week. Crap happened, but I'm back. And this time I have an iPad.
My friends and family will know that last year, I asked for an iPad for my birthday, and he gave me a divorce instead. Or, as Mom says, "Instead, he gave you something really wonderful." This year, with my student loan, I got my own iPad. Even better: I was patient and pre-ordered an iPad2.
(For concerned tax payers out there, this was not a frivolous use of my student loan. I desperately needed a new laptop for school. I wanted an iPad. Therefore, my iPad is my new laptop for school. Totally within the guidelines of responsible student loan spending.)
I love my iPad. I have used it for schoolwork. I'm outside with it in the late mornings (after vineyard work) when I write and the evenings when I don't, so it's filled with video of my constant companions: Moon, Baba Wawa, Penny and the Booman. I've used it to edit and post some of those videos on YouTube. I am using it to write one of my novels, which happens to be set on a ranch, so the setting where I set myself and my iPad in the morning is conducive to the creative process.
We're all out here right now in the shade of a 150 year-old oak tree:
One of my favorite aps is 2Do. It's a handy to-do list that can be used to set up repeating actions on certain days. It comes with pretty colored category tabs, fun buttons and prioritizing. I have made the priorities my own though, and so they are not a matter of priority at all. High priority is what I use for one-time things that need doing. Medium is for weekly chores that automatically pop up on their day of the week. Low is for monthly chores. None is for the daily stuff like dishes and litterboxes. (If I could figure out how, I'd change the titles from "None" to "Daily," etc., but that's not a high enough priority for me to take the time to figure it out.) Starred items are tricky little boogers. They never go away. You can touch the box on the screen to indicate it's done, and the line gets drawn, but then it stays there. I like things to disappear from the Today tab. So I only used the star for writing. Weekdays are for the novels (I'm writing two at the moment--it was five, but I've narrowed it down to two--one on the iPad, and one on my office computer in the afternoons.) And as of yesterday, the weekends are for blogging. As soon as I push "Publish Post," I get to check it off my 2Do list.
And even though this one has been mostly about nothing, I do have a lot on my mind. It has been quite a year for me, and I have a bunch of topics coming soon, like "Being Catty" and "Stop Telling Me to Build My Barn" and "Oops! I Inhaled. A Lot." And of course, there are Penny stories and Booman tales, along with the escapades of my border collie, Moon, and my lamb, Baba Wawa.
I had some folks tell me recently that they missed my stories on the Bengals-L Yahoo list. I'm still kind of there, but mostly you'll find me on FaceBook or right here. Uncensored.
My friends and family will know that last year, I asked for an iPad for my birthday, and he gave me a divorce instead. Or, as Mom says, "Instead, he gave you something really wonderful." This year, with my student loan, I got my own iPad. Even better: I was patient and pre-ordered an iPad2.
(For concerned tax payers out there, this was not a frivolous use of my student loan. I desperately needed a new laptop for school. I wanted an iPad. Therefore, my iPad is my new laptop for school. Totally within the guidelines of responsible student loan spending.)
I love my iPad. I have used it for schoolwork. I'm outside with it in the late mornings (after vineyard work) when I write and the evenings when I don't, so it's filled with video of my constant companions: Moon, Baba Wawa, Penny and the Booman. I've used it to edit and post some of those videos on YouTube. I am using it to write one of my novels, which happens to be set on a ranch, so the setting where I set myself and my iPad in the morning is conducive to the creative process.
We're all out here right now in the shade of a 150 year-old oak tree:
 |
| My Outdoor Office |
One of my favorite aps is 2Do. It's a handy to-do list that can be used to set up repeating actions on certain days. It comes with pretty colored category tabs, fun buttons and prioritizing. I have made the priorities my own though, and so they are not a matter of priority at all. High priority is what I use for one-time things that need doing. Medium is for weekly chores that automatically pop up on their day of the week. Low is for monthly chores. None is for the daily stuff like dishes and litterboxes. (If I could figure out how, I'd change the titles from "None" to "Daily," etc., but that's not a high enough priority for me to take the time to figure it out.) Starred items are tricky little boogers. They never go away. You can touch the box on the screen to indicate it's done, and the line gets drawn, but then it stays there. I like things to disappear from the Today tab. So I only used the star for writing. Weekdays are for the novels (I'm writing two at the moment--it was five, but I've narrowed it down to two--one on the iPad, and one on my office computer in the afternoons.) And as of yesterday, the weekends are for blogging. As soon as I push "Publish Post," I get to check it off my 2Do list.
And even though this one has been mostly about nothing, I do have a lot on my mind. It has been quite a year for me, and I have a bunch of topics coming soon, like "Being Catty" and "Stop Telling Me to Build My Barn" and "Oops! I Inhaled. A Lot." And of course, there are Penny stories and Booman tales, along with the escapades of my border collie, Moon, and my lamb, Baba Wawa.
I had some folks tell me recently that they missed my stories on the Bengals-L Yahoo list. I'm still kind of there, but mostly you'll find me on FaceBook or right here. Uncensored.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
A Life of Service
A Life of Service
Robert Eugene Fickle of Blanco, Texas passed away peacefully on January 27 2001 . He is survived by his wife, Erika Hermean Jurgens Fickle, his children Erich Brent Fickle and wife Luella Martin Fickle, Bobbi Jean Fickle and Susan Victoria Fickle Jones and husband Charles Michael Jones, his grandchildren Justin Rodney Jones and wife Veronica Salazar Jones, Travis Dale Jones, Victoria Anne Jones and Robert Michael Jones, and great-grandchildren Grant Jones and Scout Justin Jones, sons of Justin and Veronica.
Robert Eugene Fickle was born in Burwell, Nebraska on May 25, 1930. His family moved to California during the Dust Bowl Migration. He was raised by his mother, Flossie (Florence Brown Wheatley) and grandmother, Eva Knobel Long. He graduated from Compton High School and proudly served his country in the Navy during the Korean War. Following the war, he attended Compton College where he was president of Alpha Sigma Chi fraternity. There he met the bright and beautiful Erika Hermean Jurgens, with whom he fell in love. They were married on June 9, 1956. Bob and Erika had 3 children, Erich Brent Fickle, BobbiJean Fickle and Susan Victoria Fickle Jones, who are forever grateful to have been raised by the best dad ever. He taught his children the values of always learning new things, working hard, having a generous heart and living and laughing well. He loved hosting amazing parties for friends and family, travel, the outdoors, photography, theater, agriculture and genealogy.
Bob was a police officer in Compton, CA and Huntington Beach, CA during the unrest of the Sixties. During the 1970s he was instrumental in developing a modern, computerized communications system with Motorola Corporation for the HBPD. After he retired from the police department in 1980, he worked for Southern California Edison company and helped develop security systems for the San Onofre Nuclear Power Plant.
Bob and Erika retired in 1994, moving to Blanco to be near their grandchildren, Justin, Travis, Victoria and Robert Jones, and fulfilling a lifelong dream to own a ranch. Totally missing the point of retirement, they worked hard to clear mesquite for pastures and plant a vineyard on their River Ridge Ranch east of Blanco. They also traveled throughout Texas, enjoying all the wonders of their new home.
Continuing his lifelong tradition of service, Bob was active with both the VFW and American Legion in Blanco, TX , even after a stroke in 2002. He and Erika supported the Blanco County Youth Livestock Show for many years and were Top Individual Buyers in 2004 and 2005.
Robert Eugene Fickle lived a good life and the ripples of his influence will continue to shape the future. We will miss you, Daddy, until we meet again in heaven.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Research
I have a new goal for my blog: write every Sunday after lunch with Mom. I think I can do this. I really do. Here I am today doing it after making the decision this morning. That's a promising beginning, eh?
I have had the most enlightening couple of weeks. Last Thursday, when I woke up early already deep in thought...Well, let me qualify that. The thoughts were not deep, I was just tangled up in them like hot sweaty sheets. Except that it wasn't hot. Gotta love fall. I do at least; it's my favorite season. Anyway, instead of lying there allowing said shallow...well, not so much shallow as not deep...thoughts torture me, I got up, made a pot of coffee and went to work on my article/video on Marbled Bengal patterns. About three in the afternoon, realizing what I had could only be called an "article" with tons of editing but would be okay as a blog one day AND that I hadn't had lunch yet, I was flattened by an epiphany. I got up at 6:30 in the morning and wrote, ergo, I can write in the morning.
Huh. And all this time, I thought I had to write at night because I've always been somewhat of a night owl and not a morning person at all.
Seriously. Not at all. Talk to me before I've had my coffee, and you take your life in your hands. At the very least, I could make you cry. There was that time I was camping at Bow Willow in Anza Borrego with my brother and sister-in-law. Luella wakes up talking. Make that chattering. I tried to hint with no effect at all. Waiting with little patience for the percolator on the Coleman stove to perk, I flat out said, "Luella, please don't talk to me until after I've had my coffee." The silence lasted just long enough to take the edge off my nerves before she again launched into her narrative of her life. "Erich," I let loose in my crankiest voice, "do you have any duct tape?"
So, conversation and morning are definitely out. And unless your name is Joyce Meyer and you're on my television, I'm not interested in your monologue, either.
The thought that I might be able to write in the morning never even occurred to me. But there it was that day. I had. So on Friday, I tried it out and started a novel.
Okay, so "started" might not be precisely what I did, since I started the thing eleven years ago, but the point is I got up, made my coffee and worked on it for four hours. Really and truly worked on it. I was so darned proud of myself, I had to tell Mom all about it. And post it on Facebook and tell all my friends after they already had read it on Facebook. I told Mom, "I have a new schedule."
And she replied, "Don't bother you until noon because you're writing."
I beamed with double pleasure. That was about the most supportive thing Mom has ever said about my writing.
And I've kept to my new schedule every day I've been home since the epiphany with somewhat varying degrees of success. As some FB friends may have deduced, what I'm writing currently involves billiards, since I keep playing "Pool Master" and calling it research. I don't want to say too much to give it way, but I will tell y'all that the main character is a speed freak. So, in the interest of research....
I made TWO pots of coffee this morning. Living on the edge.
I have had the most enlightening couple of weeks. Last Thursday, when I woke up early already deep in thought...Well, let me qualify that. The thoughts were not deep, I was just tangled up in them like hot sweaty sheets. Except that it wasn't hot. Gotta love fall. I do at least; it's my favorite season. Anyway, instead of lying there allowing said shallow...well, not so much shallow as not deep...thoughts torture me, I got up, made a pot of coffee and went to work on my article/video on Marbled Bengal patterns. About three in the afternoon, realizing what I had could only be called an "article" with tons of editing but would be okay as a blog one day AND that I hadn't had lunch yet, I was flattened by an epiphany. I got up at 6:30 in the morning and wrote, ergo, I can write in the morning.
Huh. And all this time, I thought I had to write at night because I've always been somewhat of a night owl and not a morning person at all.
Seriously. Not at all. Talk to me before I've had my coffee, and you take your life in your hands. At the very least, I could make you cry. There was that time I was camping at Bow Willow in Anza Borrego with my brother and sister-in-law. Luella wakes up talking. Make that chattering. I tried to hint with no effect at all. Waiting with little patience for the percolator on the Coleman stove to perk, I flat out said, "Luella, please don't talk to me until after I've had my coffee." The silence lasted just long enough to take the edge off my nerves before she again launched into her narrative of her life. "Erich," I let loose in my crankiest voice, "do you have any duct tape?"
So, conversation and morning are definitely out. And unless your name is Joyce Meyer and you're on my television, I'm not interested in your monologue, either.
The thought that I might be able to write in the morning never even occurred to me. But there it was that day. I had. So on Friday, I tried it out and started a novel.
Okay, so "started" might not be precisely what I did, since I started the thing eleven years ago, but the point is I got up, made my coffee and worked on it for four hours. Really and truly worked on it. I was so darned proud of myself, I had to tell Mom all about it. And post it on Facebook and tell all my friends after they already had read it on Facebook. I told Mom, "I have a new schedule."
And she replied, "Don't bother you until noon because you're writing."
I beamed with double pleasure. That was about the most supportive thing Mom has ever said about my writing.
And I've kept to my new schedule every day I've been home since the epiphany with somewhat varying degrees of success. As some FB friends may have deduced, what I'm writing currently involves billiards, since I keep playing "Pool Master" and calling it research. I don't want to say too much to give it way, but I will tell y'all that the main character is a speed freak. So, in the interest of research....
I made TWO pots of coffee this morning. Living on the edge.
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